10 Things I Love/Hate about NY

So much is said about how much people looove this city.  It's simply the "greatest city in the world." And "why would anybody live anywhere else?" I sort of agree, sort of disagree.  And this sentiment seems to be about the least popular sentiment there is. 

Nobody just likes New York City.  You love the hustle and bustle of the people or you hate the stench trash piles stacked taller than yourself on the streets.  You can either put on your knit cap and peacoat and compose mental poetry about the romance of seeing your own breath on a cold night or hide in your studio apartment and complain that your toilet is a stone's throw from your twin bed. 

So I guess my "like" of the city would more accurately be described as an averaging of high highs and low lows to a general pleasant appreciation of the mecca.  What's weird is how many things you can love one day and loathe the next.  Some of my favorite examples:

10. Subway performers. It used to hold such whimsy.  But now it seems a bit redundant.  I would sooner appreciate slam poetry on the V-train at this point than another half verse of "Under the Boardwalk" by 4 aggressive beggars who think they could have been All-4-One 30 years ago and under more favorable circumstances.  And the mariachi bands?  Um... what? Is this a genre anyone even actually listens to?  Is there somebody in Tijuana booting up their computers and typing "mariachi" into an iTunes search?

9. Those fruit stands.  So cheap, so healthy.  Until you bite into those blackberries and they taste more like little lemons.  But so convenient.  And I'll gladly pay $25 for a banana even if it sucks.

8. Delis.  My deli in Harlem was THE SHIT.  I will forever miss these sandwiches for $3.75. And a free soda!  Subway sandwiches will never be the same.  But the ones in my new Astoria neighborhood make me feel like I've walked into Dante's fifth circle. 

7. Queens/Brooklyn Subway Access.  A party I want to go to in Williamsburg?  Awesome!  I'll walk 10 minutes to the N, go 6 stops, get off, walk 6 blocks in an EXTREMELY questionable neighborhood to the G which is notorious for leaving about, oh, every 75 minutes or so.  By the time I get there, have 3 glasses of wine, I'm gonna end up springing for a $25 cab home.  On the flipside, it makes this excuse so much easier: "Oh, it's in Brooklyn? Sorry, I live in Queens."

6. Actors.  Love going to plays.  Hate overhearing gaggles of pretentious boobs talking about their "craft" on the train.

5.  Concerts.  Every artist comes here.  And you can find good shows for less than the ticket to a 3D movie.  But here's the kicker.  If you don't get a ticket in the first 15 minutes they go on sale, you're screwed.  Unless they were once on American Idol.  They'll practically hand those tickets out for free.

4.  The Lack of Arby's.  It ain't healthy.  But damn it, sometimes you want a Beef N' Cheddar.

3.  Shake Shack. I'veI lived in California.  In -N- Out Burger is perhaps the most overrated burger chain in the world.  So, when a joint like this has such a "holier than thou" reputation, I immediately resist.  But holy hell!  This place is the bomb.  I want it right now.  And cheese fries.  And that deep-fried stuffed portabello mushroom thing. But that 45 minute line in Madison Square Park certainly makes the nearby Quizno's a viable option.

2.  People in General.  People here are eccentric.  Sometimes you have a taste for it, sometimes you want to shove a fire poker through somebody's frontal lobe.  I'm talking to you, iPod blarers. (Not you though, sweet lady who lives above us with the perfect Queens accent and gives us updates on her neighbor's dog. You're charming.).

1.  Broadway.  This is the most polarizing of all.  The ones that people think are so great must be the same ones those self righteous actors are performing in.  Because they're so craft-y I want to barf.  "Next Fall" was garbage and you know it!  No chemistry, terrible performances and melodrama at its worst.  But when I say I liked "Shrek: The Musical," something that is supposed to be campy, I'm just uncultured.  Yes, they've both closed.  But same goes for currently running shows.  "Mary Poppins" was fantastic.  And I've never even seen the movie.  So there.  I will forever remain a tourist in my Broadway tastes.

Highs and lows.  It's fun. It's dreary. It's humid. It's mesmerizing.  It sure isn't Thedford, Nebraska and there's a lot to be said for that.